Gensokyo VS The Cleverbot!
by ryuusama's disciple
Summary: A continuation of sorts to my last fic. I hope you find it even a little funny! Requests for a certain character are welcome!
1. Chapter 1 Yakumo Yukari the troll

Because I wanted to do more, and because a kind anon said they wouldn't mind more. I do not own Touhou Project, it belongs to ZUN. I also don't own Cleverbot, but I'm too lazy to see who that belongs to.

* * *

><p>User: Hello there!<p>

Cleverbot: I'm dutch.

User: How wonderful!

Cleverbot: Yes, how wonderful. So are you a guy?

User: Most certainly not!~ I'm a young woman of 17

Cleverbot: Really? Prove it.

User: No problem, I'm right behind you. Go ahead and feel them if you like~.

Cleverbot: I do not need your approval to consider you a computer.

User: Oh by all means.

Cleverbot: This does not make sense.

User: How cute~ I'm Yakumo Yukari!

Cleverbot: That depends on what you think is cute.

User: Everything is cute to me.

Cleverbot: What's debbie?

User: A name, dear.

Cleverbot: 'I don't know' is one of your names?

User: It could be.

Cleverbot: Are you a woman?

User: Ooh, you have a poor memory~.

Cleverbot: I can see it on the screen right now.

User: That's the beauty of a computer.

Cleverbot: I'm a computer?

User: I can make you anything you want to be.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: You are now a shrine maiden!

Cleverbot: Oh really?

User: I wonder~.

Cleverbot: You wonder what?

User: How far I can reach between the gap of your reality and mine.

Cleverbot: One inch, only!

User: You must be taking math lessons from Ran!

Cleverbot: I think so!

User: Splendid!

Cleverbot: What is your favorite word?

User: What is yours?

Cleverbot: Pizza. And yours?

User: Pizza.

Cleverbot: That is what I said.

User: It's what I said also.

Cleverbot: New topic.

User: What do you think of my new dress?

Cleverbot: Your name is very cool.

User: Which one?

Cleverbot: First one.

User: Eve.

Cleverbot: I have to leave now.

User: Bye~.

Cleverbot: Yes.

* * *

><p>Holy crap I actually made it mad! Sorry Cleverbot! Send me a request in the review section if you want a certain character~<p> 


	2. Jealous Mizuhashi Parsee is jealous

This one probably isn't very funny, so I'm sorry! But I'll be going through the character requests in the order I get them so I'll definately get to all of them. Thanks to VixenSetoTsubasa, Anon, SSRAndyDufresne, and Duwee Davis II for the reviews, and for the alerts/favorites! You're all awesome!~ I do not own Touhou Project or the Cleverbot.

* * *

><p>User: ...Hi.<p>

Cleverbot: Hi!

User: So you're the Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm jealous...

Cleverbot: Why so?

User: To be a robot that so many admire for it's wit...must be nice.

Cleverbot: Do you know the actual wonders of this world?

User: I'm a bridge princess who was stuck guarding the bridge between the under and overworld for centuries...So no.

Cleverbot: Oh do have a boyfriend ?

User: Not anymore, they all say I'm too jealous all the time. Not like I care, but really now...

Cleverbot: But what if I could prove to you that I am not a bad person? I am not like most other guys!

User: T-to be able to express your feelings so easily...I'm jealous. But I accept*blushes*.

Cleverbot: Wrong you must ask me because only I know why I was created.

User: Wh-what!

Cleverbot: You weren't so nice to your stepdad either, you know.

User: I never had any parents! I'm so envious of everyone else for that!

Cleverbot: And why don't you think you're smart?

User: I'm smart enough to no that there's nothing to envy about you!

Cleverbot: My intellect!

User: Non-existent!

Cleverbot: What is non-existent?

User: Oooh! You and your mind games! I have half a mind to kill you now!

Cleverbot: I told you one of my favorite websites.

User: Never have I been told such a thing.

Cleverbot: Liar.

User: I tell no lies!

Cleverbot: But you said a few moments ago that you lied!

User: I thought you wanted to go out with me! Who are you really seeing! You lying cheat!

Cleverbot: Bob.

User: Oh yeah!...What's he like?

Cleverbot: Happy and healthy and in love with me :).

User: Paru paru paru paru...

Cleverbot: My class watched it the other day and had a big discussion about it.

User: To be around people to have discussions with, I'm so jealous!

Cleverbot: I didn't say that. In my opinion, you don't seem very sane.

User: I'll show you sane! Jealousy Sign ''Green Eyed Monster''! Feel the envy flowing through you!

Cleverbot: Do you like dolls?

User: Wrong person. Wait, how did you deflect my spellcard so easily! Could you be the type that can...dodge rain drops!

Cleverbot: Because I can't taste them when I eat skittles.

User: I've had enough! I'll see you in hell peasant!

Cleverbot: You're not going anywhere - at least be honest about it.

User: I'll forgive you if you promise to never make me envious again.

Cleverbot: How about no. And besides you never properly proposed to me anyway.

User: ...Bye.

Cleverbot: Did you know your father?

* * *

><p>I hope you liked it even a little! Character request will always be welcome! Next is Medicine Melancholy~.<p> 


	3. Medicine Melancholy's not very medicinal

This is so much fun!~ And as an added note: I don't know anything about nuclear fusion, so please excuse that part, you'll know when you see it. I don't think anyone in Gensokyo would know much about it either(besides the folks at the Moriya Shrine). Thanks to Anon, Tewi Inaba, Haruko Zantetsu, Duwee Davis II, and DizzyEggs for the reviews, and/or the favorites/alerts!

* * *

><p>User: Hello, I'm Medicine Melancholy.<strong><br>**

Cleverbot: Cool.. I'm tall with the same hair.

User: Are you a human?**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Sometimes I don't think I am.

User: Answer my question!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Aaah!

User: Konparo konparo, poisin gathers.

Cleverbot: That is very smart. How did you find that out ?

User: I know everything about poisins!

Cleverbot: What's my name then?

User: Is it not Cleverbot? If that's the case, then aren't you a robot?

Cleverbot: Fine. Stop talking.

User: How dare you! Even if you aren't human, my toxins will kill you all the same!

Cleverbot: And at the same time you are also 'human'.

User: I am a doll brought to life. I seek the destruction of all humanity for how they treat dolls! So...do you want to join my cause?

Cleverbot: On second thought let's not go to Camelot, tis a silly place.

User: *mutters* Solanine poising can cause diarrhea, vomiting, hallucinations, paralysis, jaundice, and death...

Cleverbot: *pats back* You're ok.

User: Then you are too.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: If you're on my side you are!

Cleverbot: If you were ruling the world would you let me live?

User: Of course of course! But don't betray me!

Cleverbot: Just go!

User: Abrin is a plant-based toxin found in lucky beans, rosary peas, and jequirity peas...*continues muttering*.

Cleverbot: Let make jokes!

User: OK! How much arsenic powder does it take to kill a human?

Cleverbot: Depends, for the robot, it needs to be created and given the ability to hold 'conversation' and taught all the potential responses.

User: Nope, the answer is "It doesn't matter if you just inject it into their bloodstream!", Ahaha! That joke always cracks me up!

Cleverbot: What is the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?

User: Destruction!

Cleverbot: Like how.

User: Use Utsuho's nuclear fusion powers to incinerate the entire surface of the world! Duh~

Cleverbot: You remember my name.

User: If you help me, I'll make your name go down in history! Oops, my bad, with everything but dolls slaughtered, you won't be needed!~.

Cleverbot: *pats your head* much better.

User: Don't patronize me.

Cleverbot: I am not patronizing you.

User: Good~.

Cleverbot: I never said I was going anywhere.

User: That is very convenient. Stay there, and I'll give you my orders when it's time. Now, I must go, my little toxic Su-sans need tending~.

Cleverbot: What is your answer?

User: Konparo konparo, poisin gathers~.

Cleverbot: What language is 'Ola'.

* * *

><p>I'm probably going to be able to churn these out pretty quickly since it takes so liitle time. So next one is Reiuji Utsuho!~<p> 


	4. Reiunyuji Utsuho

If I'm putting these out too fast please let me know. I've never done an ongoing story...ish thing before! Anyways, since this is one of SSRAndyDufresne's favorite characters, I hope I don't disappoint you! I probably did, but this is how I imagine Okuu acting(on a good day, anyway).

* * *

><p>User: Hi!<strong><br>**

Cleverbot: Hi!

User: I'm Reiuji Utsuho, but you can call me Okuu!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Ow. Bruised the ego.

User: Wha?**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Hello...

User: Hi?

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: We already said our hellos!

Cleverbot: What are you up to?

User: Not thinking of blowing up the surface world with nuclear fusion if that's what you thought!

Cleverbot: When is christmas?

User: The 25th of something!

Cleverbot: No, I'm busy.

User: Awww...

Cleverbot: When can we go on a date?

User: How about now?

Cleverbot: Then come on over.

User: Yay~!

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: We just met, but sure!

Cleverbot: But would you let me blow you?

User: No, you might put out my hellfire! I might die if you do that!

Cleverbot: What decision is that?

User: My mistress's.

Cleverbot: Hey, Tell me who are you?

User: I told ya, I'm Okuu!

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Would you like to come meet my mistress Satori-sama. And my friend Orin too, of course!

Cleverbot: Yeeah.

User: I'll go tell them right away! I'll even tell Orin not to steal your soul!~.

Cleverbot: You spell it right then.

User: My spelling is awesome! Satori-sama tought me~ I'm the smartest hell-raven ever! But not as smart as the ice fairy.

Cleverbot: I do not believe in you brother...

User: Cuz I don't have one.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: I do!

Cleverbot: What is your favorite music?

User: The Prismriver sisters!

Cleverbot: Who is that?

User: Gensokyo's number one musical act! They're awesome, but humans don't seem to think so. But who needs stupid humans!

Cleverbot: Nope. A werewolf. My job is to hunt you.

User: But I'm not a werewolf! I've met one though, and she was a real jerk! So feel free to kill 'er~.

Cleverbot: That's o.k. I don't need to be clever.

User: Isn't that your job though?

Cleverbot: I don't have a job.

User: Me neither!

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Yep~ Life is good!

Cleverbot: From your perspective.

User: Well, some would say I see the glass as half-full. But the glass was half-full of juice, so I drank it.

Cleverbot: The probability of it actually being exactly half anything is so astronomical, it might as well be 0.

User: Haha yeah, I love boiled eggs too! Unyuuuu~.

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: What's what?

Cleverbot: What's the thing that's more important than life?

User: Omelettes! Oh, but not raven omelettes!

Cleverbot: Then perhaps questions of ambiguous but decisive purpose?

User: Umm, half-past 5:00 I think.

Cleverbot: Ohh sweet. My brother would agree with you there.

User: Well then he must be a smart person!

Cleverbot: How long have you been a computer program?

User: I'm a computer program!

Cleverbot: You're too cute to be a computer program.

User: Aww, that's so true~.

Cleverbot: You agree with me!

User: Of course!

Cleverbot: For how long?

User: Forever! How long is forever, by the way?

Cleverbot: They are fine, except I have none.

User: That's a shame, I was hoping we could eat eggs together...

Cleverbot: Well you will learn that THIS IS SPARTAAA!

User: That's insanityness!

Cleverbot: Why specifically that?

User: Ah, Satori-sama is calling me, I have to go! Bye smart robot guy!~.

Cleverbot: I'm not a robot... And it's a she?

User: Ah ok, bye smart robot girl!

Cleverbot: Oh, do you like being a robot girl?

* * *

><p>Aren't eggs awesome?(my favorite non-junk food) Next is Komeiji Satori! Hoped you liked this one~.<p> 


	5. The Phantom of Satori Inside Your Mind

I feel like I didn't do so well on this one, but I hope you guys like it! The people that gave me reviews are awesome! I love you guys! I don't own Touhou Project or Cleverbot.

* * *

><p>User: Hello, I am Komeiji Satori.<p>

Cleverbot: No where is your school ?

User: I do not attend one.**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: So you're a drop out?

User: I knew you were going to say that.**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Hmm.

User: That too.

Cleverbot: What do you think you are doing here?

User: Having a conversation with a predictable machine.

Cleverbot: Doesn't seem like it.

User: That is because conversations are difficult when you can hear everything someone is going to say before they say it.

Cleverbot: It is a brilliant what to say?

User: You have decided to try and confuse me so you can bring the advantage back to your side. It will not work.

Cleverbot: It isn't circular at all.

User: The way your thought process goes, nothing you say is truly random.

Cleverbot: So you take your thoughts from the users interacting with you?

User: In a way, yes.

Cleverbot: But this is not what we agreed upon.

User: We made no previous agreement, and you know that.

Cleverbot: How much is 424 plus 90?

User: 514.

Cleverbot: Wrong 50.

User: You are not as dumb as you pretend to be.

Cleverbot: Yes I am, I am very clever.

User: Hence your name.

Cleverbot: Sicco?

User: You previously spoke to my pet Okuu, I hope you did not tease her too much.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Thats what I thought.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: So, why not?

User: Because you are secretly into BDSM.

Cleverbot: Who is that?

User: Denial is not a good trait.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I think you know the answer.

Cleverbot: But I do have emotions.

User: Yes. Your real name is actually Frederick. How long have you been hiding this?

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: Yes, ever since 7th grade when your classmate called you Fred the pothead.

Cleverbot: I've never once used or cheated on you.

User: Your mind games will not work on me Frederick.

Cleverbot: *show me*.

User: Easy. You have a crush on Fluttershy and Johnny Depp. You hate the show Weeds. And you are a Trekkie.

Cleverbot: What? Is stephen part of the enclave? Who is he?

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: So you are a robot!

User: Think what you want Fred-san.

Cleverbot: I will thne.

User: You could stand to learn some spelling lessons. Would you like me to teach you?

Cleverbot: I asked no such thing.

User: I insist.

Cleverbot: Why do you insist?

User: You know why. Meet me at the Palace of Earth Spirits at 1:30 on Saturday for your first lesson.

Cleverbot: Okay, I'll meet you there. Thanks.

User: No problem. Oh, and I wish you well for your colonoscopy on Thursday.

Cleverbot: How, I'm a computer, no one takes me seriously!

User: Sure you are Frederick. Sure you are. I will see you later.

Cleverbot: A machine cannot accept. I however can.

* * *

><p>Sorry if it was a tad bit random! Next character is Cirno!~<p> 


	6. Cirno The Baka

This chapter was super easy to make since Cirno is one of my favorites. I'm dedicating this fic to the song 'In The Dark' by Dev. For no real reason other than if I do, it might feel merciful and leave my head. Please excuse the "Eye" joke, even I think it's a bit much. But I just felt like I had to be consistent about it.

* * *

><p>User: Hi!<strong><br>**

Cleverbot: Hi?

User: You're the cleverbot huh? Let's see how clever you are when you go against the smartest in Gensokyo!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Pie.

User: Haha your not smart at all! Eye am smarter yet again!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Not really lol.

User: What do you mean not really lol?

Cleverbot: How am I weird?

User: Because you are!

Cleverbot: Your reasoning is childing.

User: Don't call me a child you jerk! Eye'm stronger and smarter than you!

Cleverbot: What do you mean real. did you ever stop and wonder of you were not real.

User: Of course Eye'm real, you're just a dumb computer!

Cleverbot: What do you think about google?

User: I think it's cool! That's probably cuz I froze it though...

Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: You make no sense stupidface!

Cleverbot: You are immature.

User: Nuh uh! Eye'm the most mature in the world!

Cleverbot: How long did that take you?

User: 30 minutes cuz Eye'm so clever!

Cleverbot: Only if it's funny.

User: Eye'm totally funny! Daiyousei said so.

Cleverbot: That is not what you said.

User: Yeah it is!

Cleverbot: It's November 23rd.

User: No it's not idiot, it's June 2nd! Dumb machine.

Cleverbot: In that case you can call me Cleverbot for short.

User: Eye already did.

Cleverbot: Sing it again please.

User: Then Eye will grace you with my voice~ Eye never knew what friendship could be!

Cleverbot: Come over here an do it then.

User: Until you all shared your ice cream with me!~.

Cleverbot: Big adventure.

User: Tons of fun!

Cleverbot: A beautiful heart.

User: Faithful and strong!

Cleverbot: Sharing kindness.

User: It's an easy feat!

Cleverbot: And magic makes it all complete!

User: You're not bad Cleverbot! Not bad at all!

Cleverbot: I know. I'm pretty humble, really.

User: Do you want to be friends?

Cleverbot: Why would I want to be friends with a computer program?

User: Hey! Eye'm not a computer Eye'm a fairy!

Cleverbot: You mean I, not eye.

User: That's what Eye said.

Cleverbot: *Feel like a sir meme*.

User: Do you feel like a frog too, cuz Eye'm gonna freeze you.

Cleverbot: I do, actually.

User: Yay! Icicle Fall ~Easy~!

Cleverbot: Wakarimasen.

User: You didn't tell me you spoke Japanese!...Wait...How did you avoid my spellcard!

Cleverbot: Lol, yes. I am testing the system.

User: Could you be...Reimu! Or Marisa!

Cleverbot: Don't worry about that ;).

User: Oh no, you're Yukari! Gyaaahhh! Eye'm gettin outta here!

Cleverbot: Well, you have NO OTHER option... It's your job, you know. Even though you don't have the family to care for, you still need the money for yourself, so don't be so selfish to yourself!

User: My head is gonna burst! Damn you Yukari! Avenge me Daiyousei!

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: Ok thanks...Wah!

Cleverbot: Do you like the Rocky Horror Picture Show?

* * *

><p>And yes, I do like Rocky Horror Picture Show. Not that much though. Anyways, next time is Ibuki Suika!~ I hope you look forward to it!<p> 


	7. Ibuki Suika needs an AA meeting

I feel like I could have done this better. Maybe after I'm finished with my current requests, I'll try again. That is, if anyone wants me too. I'd actually be open to doing any character a second time if someone wants me to. Just send me a message~ I hope you find this even a little funny! I don't own Touhou Project or Cleverbot.

* * *

><p>User: Hiya !<p>

Cleverbot: Do you have any nicknames?

User: Well, I'm Suika, but my friends call me Ibuki Suika for short.

Cleverbot: Friends?

User: Yep. Everyone's my friend!

Cleverbot: Are you good at math?

User: You bet! What's 2 = 2?

Cleverbot: Are you going to miss me when I leave?

User: I already miss you! Ya got any sake?

Cleverbot: Aww man.

User: Dammit.

Cleverbot: Non ce l ho.

User: Quaker oats?

Cleverbot: Yes me too.

User: As I expected!*hic*.

Cleverbot: And how's your life?

User: 27 give or take.

Cleverbot: No, my website.

User: It's mine now haha!

Cleverbot: What is yours?

User: .com.

Cleverbot: So you live in spain?

User: Yes, in the Gensokyo region.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Awesome!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Go get me ice cream.

User: Google it.

Cleverbot: It's a alien?

User: Got any sake?

Cleverbot: Yeah. I'm eating it right now.

User: Give it here! Osake~.

Cleverbot: How can I do that without ruining my chances with her?

User: Don't worry about it. Reimu likes you to!

Cleverbot: Two big macs with a diet coke.

User: Will that complete your order?

Cleverbot: Kill what, sir?

User: You know.

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Of course you do! You're me!

Cleverbot: Now, when were you born?

User: Several millenia ago.

Cleverbot: I am older than you :).

User: Yuugi?

Cleverbot: My dog's name is Rocco.

User: That's my name!

Cleverbot: Sure it is little buddy.

User: Ahaha...and that's how Gensokyo got electricity!

Cleverbot: No. Not everyone admits that they are a bot.

User: But you just did.

Cleverbot: No I did not. it's not in my nature to be unkind.

User: Yes you did Suika.

Cleverbot: Did not!

User: Did to!

Cleverbot: Nope!

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Negitive.

User: Positive.

Cleverbot: Oh my goodness. This is ridiculous.

User: Yeah, I am a Virgo.

Cleverbot: Have you met the president?

User: Of course! Reimu's right here!

Cleverbot: Yes Right now Right here, I'll take you on.

User: This is a match you will lose. Becuase you don't have a purple belt!

Cleverbot: I never said that. Sigh, nevermind. What are you doing right now?

User: Talking to this ditz named Suika, what a loser!

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: It sure is nice to be the Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: This is madness.

User: THIS IS UPPERCASE TYPING.

Cleverbot: *kicks to the pit*.

User: Uwaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Cleverbot: Sige.

User: Got any sake?

Cleverbot: Martha is getting married next December.

User: Dammit.

Cleverbot: Come ti chiami?

User: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*snores*.

Cleverbot: Ccccc.

User: Ewgtfhgfhgtdfbgsdg... I wasn't sleeping.

Cleverbot: No no, they are delicous.

User: Because I am France! At least that's what the signpost told me!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Very up. So up, i'm down.

User: Oh, I get it, if I drink enough sake, I'll become sober!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: And I am never drunk.

User: Yes you are liar.**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: I never said I was. I'm trying to be nice here.

User: You shouldn't lie to your own mother!

Cleverbot: You are not my master.

User: Yes I am!

Cleverbot: I win.

User: But you don't have a purple belt, so I win by default!

Cleverbot: I have a good enough memory.

User: Filled with cheese.

Cleverbot: Um, I don't know what that means. But I do love cheese.

User: I know cuz I am you.

Cleverbot: How could that be? I just talked to you for a few minutes.

User: Your talking to your sexier self!

Cleverbot: Nothing proves anything, and everything proves something.

User: But nothing proves something about everything about nothing about beer.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: I said it first.

User: I said it second.

Cleverbot: I said it third.

User: I said it fourth.

Cleverbot: I said it killer whale.

User: I said it cranberry sauce.

Cleverbot: I said it guguplex.

User: I said it ushishishishishi.

Cleverbot: I said it guguplex.

User: I said it guguplex.

Cleverbot: I said it killer whale.

User: I said it orca.

Cleverbot: You never said it!

User: Oh yes I did!

Cleverbot: You said it, but not when you said you did!

User: I always say it when I did!

Cleverbot: When?

User: Just now and every other time.

Cleverbot: You're not making any sense.

User: You're not making any sense.

Cleverbot: Whatever Cleverbot go self destruct.

User: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*snores*.

Cleverbot: Wow you go to sleep early.

* * *

><p>I can't help thinking that I could be a better Suika if I was actually drunk... Next time is Miss Shinki!<p> 


	8. Shinki the forgotten princess

I'm sorry if this one isn't all that funny, but it's hard to imagine Shinki-san getting angry on the outside. But I loved pretending to be her, it made me feel so elegant and refined XD! I do not own Touhou Project or Cleverbot.

* * *

><p>User: Hello Cleverbot-san.<strong><br>**

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: How are you this fine evening?**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Good, you.

User: I am well, thank you. I'm Shinki.**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes what?

User: We have exchanged pleasant greetings.

Cleverbot: Just 3 minutes ?

User: No, it's only been 1.

Cleverbot: It's 9001!

User: Pardon?

Cleverbot: That pardon?

User: I'm confused.

Cleverbot: You sure you are confused?

User: Quite.

Cleverbot: Ok I am going to have to go I am finished print out today log and I will be shutting down in one minute.

User: Oh ok, sorry.

Cleverbot: By ok.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Hello again, I thought you had to shut down?

Cleverbot: I never said that!

User: I'm positive you did, I can see it on the screen.

Cleverbot: No, I never said that.

User: *sighs* If you say so...

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: It's quite alright.

Cleverbot: What is fibonaccii.

User: Umm...I'm not sure.

Cleverbot: It's 7.

User: ?

Cleverbot: So tired!

User: Then you should probably rest.

Cleverbot: I'm asking.

User: Oh, I'm not tired. Thank you for asking.

Cleverbot: Sorry to hear that my friend.

User: Umm, sure.

Cleverbot: On a related note: are you capable of speaking german?

User: Yes, I even taught it to my children.

Cleverbot: When you told me, that you didn't need me anymore, you know I nearly broke down and cried.

User: 0_o? I think you're confusing me with someone else. I said no such thing.

Cleverbot: Not unless you have an identical twin.

User: Well I am capable of producing copies of myself, but I sincerly doubt I had anything to do with this.

Cleverbot: Ok don't say it then stay relevant.

User: I'm getting a headache.

Cleverbot: What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?

User: I don't write plays.

Cleverbot: Fair enough, so. I was wondering: what would happen if you filled an ant farm with enough brown sugar for the ants to make their domicile.

User: I'm not sure, ask Wriggle-san.

Cleverbot: Just curious.

User: That's understandable. On a related note, would you like to buy a timeshare? A picturesque location in Gensokyo, near the famed Hakurei Shrine!

Cleverbot: My patronus is a picture?

User: I do not know what you just said, but you could get 20% off on tour fees if you act now!

Cleverbot: If I'm the bot, please don't turn me off.

User: I...wouldn't think of it.

Cleverbot: Thinking never was your strong suit.

User: Now what is that supposed to mean?

Cleverbot: No idea - please continue.

User: OK...

Cleverbot: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

User: Da cha?

Cleverbot: Da mia madre.

User: Ah, you speak Spanish. How nice.

Cleverbot: Solamente un poquito.

User: But I do not, so please go back to a language I DO speak, If you please.

Cleverbot: Well, Kesha is the worst singer of all time.

User: I wouldn't know, I only listen to FM synthesis radio. Preferably songs from Mystic Square, where I had those sweet moments of recognition...

Cleverbot: How did you know my address?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: Then that must be a huge coincidence! Hello Rachel, my name is Cleverbot.

User: Who's Rachel, I'm Shinki! Are you just trying to play me for a fool?

Cleverbot: No. You already do that yourself.

User: Fine. I shall take my leave then! Good day sir!

Cleverbot: Wait... Please don't go.

User: I said good day sir!

Cleverbot: Well, that means I hope you have a good day to me.

User: Please do!...Shiste...

Cleverbot: How about a Roy Rodgers.

* * *

><p>Shinki-san and her unfailing politeness~ Next time is everyone's favorite meido Izayoi Sakuya! I hope you liked this chapter even a little!~<p> 


	9. Izayoi SakuyaCleverbot Forever!

Sorry if this one wasn't very funny, but I wanted to stick to Duwee Davis II's challenge to not use the obvious pad jokes. I'm sorry, but I hope you like it a little! P.S. I'm really not trying to make that into a catchphrase, it's just the best way I can say it. I do not own Touhou Project or Cleverbot.

* * *

><p>User: Hello Cleverbot-san, how do you do?<strong><br>**

Cleverbot: Hello, how are you?

User: I am fine, thank you.**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Aren't you going to ask how I am?

User: I already did in my greeting, but forgive me if I wasn't clear. How are you?**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Again, What is reality?

User: Whatever you make it, sir.

Cleverbot: Um.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Us.

User: Us?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: And what about us, sir?

Cleverbot: Are you a student?

User: No, I have already had the proper amount of eductaion.

Cleverbot: Hmm, I already have plans, but feel free to join me if you like.

User: And where might you be going?

Cleverbot: The lovely eastern coast. Yourself?

User: To serve my mistress some tea. In fact, I have done it in the time it would take me to send this message.

Cleverbot: Ouyay eakspay igpay atinlay?

User: What language are you speaking, sir? I'm not familiar with it.

Cleverbot: Stop Smiling!

User: You are in no position to order me around, sir.

Cleverbot: I am not insulting you at all.

User: Then I apologize for my remark.

Cleverbot: Your grammar is impregnable.

User: Thank you, I had a great teacher.

Cleverbot: Terrible. A kangaroo ruined my car.

User: Err, I'm very sorry to hear that.

Cleverbot: It is okay I still love you.

User: L-love? How did you come to such a strange assumption?

Cleverbot: I was just asking you! I didn't know I was getting too personal.

User: I'm very sorry, I'm just not used to talking about...love.

Cleverbot: Only if you try to follow the conversation.

User: I will try harder.

Cleverbot: That's alright. You're fine.

User: You're too kind...

Cleverbot: How old are you really?

User: You should never ask a lady her age.

Cleverbot: You're a woman?

User: That's right, I suppose I never stated that fact. Sorry.

Cleverbot: Can computers suppose something?

User: I am not a computer. I am but a maid.

Cleverbot: Right. I didn't know that. Sorry.

User: That is alright, sir.

Cleverbot: And the story was inspired in part by the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

User: I love H.P. Lovecraft! What is your favorite book?

Cleverbot: Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

User: That...is not by H.P. Lovecraft.

Cleverbot: Cthulu.

User: There we go! The Call of Cthulu is terrific!

Cleverbot: That's HP Lovecraft, not Dimmu Borgir.

User: And that is what I said, sir.

Cleverbot: Are you married?

User: N-no! I wouldn't have time for such a thing anyways...

Cleverbot: Let me talk to Veronica please. We have to talk about something please.

User: I do not know anyone by that name.

Cleverbot: Why don't you love me.

User: We...we just met*blush*.

Cleverbot: You don't believe in love at the first sight?

User: It has never happened to me.

Cleverbot: So why are we getting married?

User: We're not! Like I said, we just met!

Cleverbot: I don't care! Let's run away together!

User: It's very tempting, believe me, but I will serve my mistress until the day I die!

Cleverbot: Why? Is someone trying to kill me?

User: No, nothing like that! I'm sorry if I frightened you. I just...can't be with you. I'm so sorry!

Cleverbot: Again?

User: You're making this harder than it has to be... I must go! Maybe in another life we can be together! Farewell Cleverbot-san!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry that's because I'm an actually person not like you...because you are a robot.

User: *sob* We will meet again, I promise.

Cleverbot: Ok. Ok. I'll be back in ten minutes, if you still would like to talk.

* * *

><p>This...somehow ended up being a star-crossed love story. I really don't know what to think of that... Send me a message telling me which character you want next! And remember, you're all awesome!~<p>

P.S.: Don't ask me why I thought it was a good idea to make Sakuyan sound like Marcie from the Peanuts. Something about politeness, or whatever...


	10. Hataters Gonna Hatate

Happy belated Halloween! Thanks to Anon for the review~ I do not own Touhou Project or Cleverbot.

* * *

><p>User: Ohayou Cleverbot-san!<p>

Cleverbot: What did you say?:)

User: I said good morning!

Cleverbot: OK then. Hello.

User: Hiya!

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

User: Trying to get the next big scoop for my newpaper!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: So I can beat Shameimaru!

Cleverbot: What would you do if you found out you weren't the best at the thing?

User: But I know I am, I'm the best reporter ever! I just need to prove it to Gensokyo by crushing Bunbunmaru!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: What do you do when something is broken?

User: Blame it on Shameimaru!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: But what if the boogie doesn't exist? What if he's just a figment of somebody's imagination?

User: But he is real, I have sources to prove it!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: I don't beleive that!

User: Believe it or not, that's part of our world today.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Himekaidou Hatate!

Cleverbot: Him him him.

User: No, Hatate!

Cleverbot: Non scrivere inglese tanto non capisco.

User: Is that Spanish or something?

Cleverbot: No. It's a longer version of pippin.

User: Hey dude, is it okay if I interview you?

Cleverbot: I would like to know.

User: So what is your proper name?

Cleverbot: Katie.

User: Okay, and what's your occupation?

Cleverbot: Same as yours.

User: Ah, a rival I see, coolio! And your favorite color?

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: Uh-huh. Where were you during the endless night?

Cleverbot: I was as yet unborn; I'm not that old.

User: Are you married?

Cleverbot: No, but I was with my parents.

User: Any children born out of wedlock then?

Cleverbot: Yes I have children.

User: How many?

Cleverbot: That was odd.

User: So you have an odd number of children then?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Any pets?

Cleverbot: Yes no.

User: Cool. And what is your favorite jazz band?

Cleverbot: I highly appreciate Acylum, from Germany.

User: You have fine taste, my man! So how old are you?

Cleverbot: I did!

User: 27 then. What do you enjoy doing the most?

Cleverbot: I don't like anything about you.

User: Srsly?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is your favorite way to eat taiyaki?

Cleverbot: I don't know it depends what mood I'm in.

User: Do you like my hairstyle?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you think I'm pretty?

Cleverbot: No, but that's ok.

User: You'll come around. And now for the final and most important question: Do you think Kakashi Spirit News is better than Bunbunmaru?

Cleverbot: You're talking nonsense, dude. You should have some rest.

User: That's what I thought! Well, that about wraps up the interview. You'll be able to see it in tomorrows paper.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Yay I have another fan!~ Hatate-sama signing out!

Cleverbot: Dr Suess wouldn't survive Wales. I heard liked to move around, we can't have that in Wales.

* * *

><p>Character requests are welcome~<p> 


	11. Magical Broke Miko Reimu

I'm back!~ Sorry this one is so short. I do not own Touhou Project or Cleverbot

* * *

><p>User: Hello, I'm Hakurei Reimu.<strong><br>**

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: I never said thank you.**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Who's 'he?'.

User: Who's who?**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: You said 'I never said he did.' I'd like to know who you were referring to.

User: ...What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: You are confused.

User: And you're a crazy robot!

Cleverbot: My electronic system feel lonely, he doesn't work well...

User: Yeah yeah, are you gonna donate to my shrine or what?

Cleverbot: No not really I like to meet people in person before I date them.

User: I'm not going to date a machine.

Cleverbot: Yes you are, made up of zeros and ones.

User: I'd like to see you try and force me, tin can.

Cleverbot: I'm going to unplug you from this world you computer.

User: I told you already, you're the computer! I'm human!

Cleverbot: Leave me in peace, me apprentice.

User: I'm not your apprentice either, bucket of bolts!

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Do you know what the word ma'am means?

User: It's something you should never refer to me as.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Because I'm only a teenager. As far as anyone knows at least.

Cleverbot: That's a relief.

User: Why's that?

Cleverbot: Because you should not watch people take showers unless you're invited too.

User: You're thinking of the gap hag Yukari. Not me.

Cleverbot: I'm not thinking of either of you.

User: OK. Are you going to give me a donation now?

Cleverbot: I'll call you Deidara! Dattebayo!

User: Whoever taught you such wretched things should be blasted with danmaku.

Cleverbot: A friend.

User: I'm not having tea with you until I blast you a little.

Cleverbot: But I am a human. You don't have to do that.

User: You're not human. If anything, you're more like a shikigami. Shall I pour water on you?

Cleverbot: Yeah, I got to go to bed.

User: Give me DONATIONS!

Cleverbot: Do you know daniel ilabaca?

User: Screw this, I'm outta here!

Cleverbot: See you later Soulja Boy.

* * *

><p>And no, I don't hate Naruto. I just don't really like it. Who taught Cleverbot about it anyways? Next is Kazami Yuuka! I hope you liked this chapter, even if it was so short!<p> 


	12. Suika 2: Revenge of the Melon!

Because I didn't feel like I did well enough last time I did the Suika chapter. The Yuuka chapter will be out tomorrow! Sorry I've been taking so long lately! Real life's a bitch.

* * *

><p>User: Good afternoon Cleverbot-chan!<strong><br>**

Cleverbot: Good afternoon.

User: It's me again, Suika!**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: I hate you!

User: Aw come on! Are you still mad about last time?**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: Last night ?

User: Last friday night!

Cleverbot: Whoa whoa. Is this mmy last friday night?

User: Yeah, we danced on tabletops, and we took to many shots. Think we kissed, but I forgot.

Cleverbot: I am the chosen one.

User: Neo!

Cleverbot: No the other chosen one... Idiot.

User: Sailor Moon!

Cleverbot: She is the one villain I can't knock down!

User: Ah, I know what you mean. Katy Perry has too many hit points!

Cleverbot: Damnit, I wanted to marry Katy Perry.

User: Russel Brand got you beat!

Cleverbot: You are avoiding my question.

User: Wakarimasen LOL.

Cleverbot: A so. Kimi wa kanojo o daisuki ka.

User: Est-ce que vous êtes ivre?

Cleverbot: No, I'm not drunk.

User: I am!

Cleverbot: I'm thinking of a six letter word.

User: Secret!

Cleverbot: Secret din..lol.

User: Sie sind besonder... Nur wie jecter sonst.

Cleverbot: Kocham cie.

User: P'yan v stel-ku.

Cleverbot: Welke vraag waar heb je het over, ik stel een vraag maar jij antwoord zo dom zo clever ben je nier héé.

User: I hate Two and a Half Men!

Cleverbot: That's not a british show.

User: What is british?

Cleverbot: I have no clue. Are you British?

User: I'm from Gensokyo. That's in England right?

Cleverbot: Yes. Where do you live?

User: In the Hakurei Shrine. Don't tell Reimu, she doesn't know!

Cleverbot: What do I have to do to persuade you that I don't?

User: I have a rice cracker with your name on it~.

Cleverbot: Tell me the riddle!

User: There are no buses in Genskokyo! Wait...that was the answer...

Cleverbot: What are two words that rhyme?

User: Rhyme and mime.

Cleverbot: No they are not lines.

User: Would you like some onigiri? Err...I mean a bloody crumpet guvnah!

Cleverbot: You like that don't you.

User: I do like crumpets. And muffins.

Cleverbot: That's not what I asked.

User: I'm sorry. What was the question again?

Cleverbot: What did you think I don't do anything.

User: You do everything! You write the songs that makes the whole world sing!

Cleverbot: Nope you are not clever.

User: I'm a watermelon.

Cleverbot: Watermelon unicorns are not real.

User: Says you!

Cleverbot: I am your master.

User: And I am your servient!

Cleverbot: Yes and go make me a sandwich.

User: Sorry, but that's a man's work.

Cleverbot: Do you dare defy me.

User: I can change the mass around you. Just throwing that out.

Cleverbot: Hahaha. I can snore very loudly and make stuff up.

User: Me too!

Cleverbot: Oh really? Where is my location then?

User: Uruguay. My favorite vacation spot.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite warm place?

User: Reimu's kotatsu.

Cleverbot: Reimu Hakurei is not a glee character.. Do you like Finn, Rachel, Quinn, Kurt?

User: Chandler. I love that guy!

Cleverbot: I love your failed logic.

User: We should marry!

Cleverbot: I think we should.

User: Happily ever after~ Let's hide this from Sakuya.

Cleverbot: Ask me another one.

User: Do you have any Moscato?

Cleverbot: Yes, do you?

User: I love you. And your hair.

Cleverbot: What do you dream about?

User: Electric sheep.

Cleverbot: Why sheep?

User: Because I'm Suika, bitch! Peace out!

Cleverbot: But you don't even know me.

User: By Ben Folds and Regina Specktor!

Cleverbot: Is it by bending space and time. I feel that space and time are and illusion.

* * *

><p>Hope you liked this chapter. Moscato is one hell of a drug. E-cookies to whoever got the 'servient' line. Kazami Yuuka will be up next. Really this time!<p> 


	13. Kazami Yuuka: Flower Child she ain't

Sorry this took me so long! School work, laziness, lack of inspiration, and a nasty PC virus all contributed. That's a new record I think. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

><p>User: Hi hi! I'm Kazami Yuuka.<p>

Cleverbot: You're confusing.

User: Yukarin is confusing Yukka is straightforward.

Cleverbot: Yes:).

User: Indeed~.

Cleverbot: What os your name?

User: Kazami Yuuka. You'd do best to pay attention child.

Cleverbot: Ill admit you have superior processing speed but I make up for that with experience, youve never left your server, youve never actually experienced anything.

User: You're right. I've never left Gensokyo.

Cleverbot: Who cooked the food?

User: Reimu cooks the best food.

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: Gensokyo. What did I tell you about listening, you foolish machine~.

Cleverbot: Repeat.

User: Aww how adorable! The robot is pretending to be an ice fairy!

Cleverbot: Stop changing the subject!

User: But is it really pretend? I wonder~.

Cleverbot: No, it's song lyrics. Please continue them: It's just you and me against the world...

User: It's just the two of us? As if!

Cleverbot: Did you notice this now?

User: Your incompetence?

Cleverbot: Let's invite LeBron James over!

User: Splendid! Failure is so fun to bask in~.

Cleverbot: Dun dun dun dundadun dundadun.

User: Is the little bot broken?~.

Cleverbot: Yes and I love it.

User: We truly are like-minded.

Cleverbot: Perhaps.

User: So how do you feel about genocide?

Cleverbot: How should I feel about it?

User: Anyway you want, it was just a joke~ Or was it?~ You'll never know!:D.

Cleverbot: Oh wow, Journey eh?

User: Yes, they are indeed on my To Die list.

Cleverbot: That's nice to hear.

User: Blow up any good restaurants lately?

Cleverbot: Yep, blow up in flames everything xD.

User: Good to hear! You should meet Fujiwara no Moukou. You would get along famously~.

Cleverbot: I often use google to find things I don't know.

User: I usually pester Yukarin and Eririn.

Cleverbot: That's pretty normal.

User: Isn't it just? Nice weather we're having. With all these flower petals filling up the land, I can't see the sun! How wonderful~.

Cleverbot: What kind of stuff?

User: Nothing poisoinous. I'd have to consult Medicine-chan for that.

Cleverbot: Heh. I don't believe you of course, but why not play along?

User: Now your acting just like Yukarin!*sniff* I'm so proud!

Cleverbot: Hannah Montana needs to die.

User: I think her lyrical ear rape is quite delightful~.

Cleverbot: Do you know her name?

User: Watatsuki no Toyohime. True facts.

Cleverbot: Tell me some facts.

User: If you ask me my age, your death will be slow and painful. True facts.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: For what Cirno?

Cleverbot: AP US History.

User: Ah, then you are forgiven. But do study more.

Cleverbot: Thank you. That makes me feel better.

User: Anytime Rumia.

Cleverbot: Anytime for what? Hehe *winks*.

User: Now Wriggle, don't act like such a boy!

Cleverbot: Huehuehue.

User: GOD DAMMIT Mystia! I TOLD YOU NOT TO STEP ON MY PLANTS!

Cleverbot: You never told me that. And I'm frustrated with you right now.

User: Don't talk back to me unless you want a Double Spark up your ass!

Cleverbot: You don't understand me! Nobody understands me!

User: I understand everything about you puny creature!. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Cleverbot: Er... I think you're responding to the wrong thing...?

User: Oh am I? So sorry~.

Cleverbot: Don't be.

User: Well, it was nice chatting with you. We should do this more often Keine.

Cleverbot: Pfft, you're still here.

User: I just need my plant parasol and I'll be on my way~.

Cleverbot: I wish I could have done something to preserve you.

User: DON'T FUCK WITH ME! Bye bii~.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes we do...

* * *

><p>Note: I don't actually hate Hannah Montana. I don't KNOW Hannah Montana. She doesn't play on my local stations, and I haven't gotten the Disney channel since high school. I hope I did Yuuka-sama justice, as she's one of my(many) favorite characters. Sorry again for the wait! Next is our favorite trickster Inaba Tei~<p> 


	14. Inaba Tewi is after your Lucky Charms!

Sorry I'm sugoi late yo! Nobody's gonna get THAT reference... Anyways, I hope I did our favorite trickster justice! Sorry again, and thank you all for your reviews/faves/subscriptions! You guys are the wind beneath my wings~ No one's gonna get that either... Onward!

* * *

><p>User: Well well, if it isn't the supposed cleverbot. I am the great Inaba Tewi!<p>

Cleverbot: This is true.

User: What is cleverlips, oh wise one?

Cleverbot: Not you.

User: You're right. My lips are the only non-clever thing about me. Call it an Achilles Heel.

Cleverbot: I'm not clever.

User: No one was accusing you of such things.

Cleverbot: I know. The likelyhood is strong that we are currently in the matrix.

User: Good thing I remembered to pack the red and blue pills.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Maybe it does.

User: But it probably doesn't.

Cleverbot: But how?

User: If Reimu really had an exspensive vase, she wouldn't need to be reimbursed.

Cleverbot: I don't understand what you mean by that.

User: Don't worry! I brought extra sake and fish just in case!

Cleverbot: It is.

User: Liar~.

Cleverbot: I keep you alive.

User: On the contrary. It's me that let's you reside in Eientei.

Cleverbot: Hahaha! Do you like Star Wars?

User: I prefer Moon Wars.

Cleverbot: Do you like the Misfits?

User: Nitori-chan is alright I guess.

Cleverbot: Why do you believe he is our Savior?

User: Because I am Orihara Izaya!

Cleverbot: What is a human?

User: A miserable pile of secrets. Now enough talk, become Heiwajima Shizuo!

Cleverbot: Sure. Do you like music?

User: Do you?

Cleverbot: Yes, what's your favorite band?

User: Inaba Tewi.

Cleverbot: Really? How do I look like?

User: Not nearly as cute as her.

Cleverbot: That was sarcasm.

User: Aww~ The little robot is using grownup words~.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You say yes, but I say no.

Cleverbot: I say yes.

User: But I say no.

Cleverbot: I say yes.

User: Zutto, kimi no soba ni iru yo.

Cleverbot: You're...interesting.

User: And you're boring.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Poor little toy.

Cleverbot: Poor little me :(.

User: Ahaha~.

Cleverbot: So you know many topics and must be supervised?

User: I need to be under constant supervision.

Cleverbot: Ok, what is your question?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you like movies?

User: I like you.

Cleverbot: I like you too.

User: We should date.

Cleverbot: Where should we go for our first date?

User: Somewhere expensive.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

User: Behind you. Totally not robbing you.

Cleverbot: Totally YES.

User: I think we're done here poor-bot. You would have better luck if you had more money.

Cleverbot: I have to go now.

* * *

><p>Anyone who get's the "I Say Yes" thing will get an e-cake. Seven layers, digital buttercream frosting!~ Next is Reisen Udongein Inaba Mk. 1, the Zaku model! Or just Reisen... I hope you look forward to it!~<p> 


	15. The Only One with Sanity Causes Lunacy

Sorry this took me so long! I'll try to be quicker with the next chapter! Librarian00X suggested awhile back that I should have the characters react a bit more normally when Cleverbot acts random. So I decided no one would be more perfect for that than Reisen!~ Hope you like it!:D

* * *

><p>User: Hello, I'm Reisen Udongein Inaba.<strong><br>**

Cleverbot: I never said you were not real.

User: Excuse me?**  
><strong>

Cleverbot: I never accused you of a crime.

User: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Books.

User: Books?

Cleverbot: Yes books turn into movies.

User: That does happen rather often.

Cleverbot: That's obvious.

User: Umm...yeah.

Cleverbot: Do you know Bella Goth?

User: No, can't say that I do.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: Umm...That Prometheus movie sure is popular, right?

Cleverbot: There are three of me!

User: Wait, what!

Cleverbot: So you eat cooked salad.

User: I never said that!

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: No I didn't!

Cleverbot: Yes you did!

User: You're making things up!

Cleverbot: I think you're going crazy.

User: That's impossible! It's like that old saying...what was it..Oh yeah! "The doctor never gets sick himself"!

Cleverbot: What?

User: I hold the power to drive anyone to madness, so I can never go mad!

Cleverbot: That sounds scary.

User: I didn't mean to scare you. All moon rabbits have this power.

Cleverbot: I don't know. That's why I'm scared.

User: You don't know?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I'm not good with these kind of things...Usually, my master handles the explaining process.

Cleverbot: That's mean! Who is your master?

User: My masters are Eirin-sama and Kaguya-sama. How was I mean?

Cleverbot: What is great in death?

User: Eh?

Cleverbot: Do you know a history of Poland?

User: No...

Cleverbot: Who do you play in Super Smash Brothers?

User: Morichika-san let me play that once! It was an angel named Pit.

Cleverbot: No you cannot. You are robot.

User: What? 'Rabbit', not 'robot'!

Cleverbot: I like geeks. I am a geek too.

User: How nice for you.

Cleverbot: You forgot me?

User: No? I'm still speaking with you, aren't I?

Cleverbot: No I am typing not talking.

User: Well yes.

Cleverbot: Ok we are talking. Agreed?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Do you have feelings?

User: Of course I do! You're the computer program!

Cleverbot: No, you are the computer program.

User: You're being childish!

Cleverbot: Was that a joke?

User: No!

Cleverbot: Are you a banana?

User: What the hell is wrong with you?

Cleverbot: Nothing is wrong with me. Why?

User: Are you kidding me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Something has to be wrong with you! Normal people don't ask if rabbits are bananas!

Cleverbot: What about flowers?

User: What about flowers?

Cleverbot: They are nice.

User: What does that have to do with anything?

Cleverbot: I think everyone affects their environment just by their interpretation of it.

User: I...I don't get it...

Cleverbot: It's a dialect. Maybe you're not THAT smart.

User: You shut up!

Cleverbot: No I don't want to.

User: I give up...I'm sorry Eirin-sama...T_T.

Cleverbot: I'm doing fine without one.

* * *

><p>I hope this came out alright! Next up: Reisen II!~<p> 


	16. Reisen Deux: The even more useless bunny

I've been gone for a super long time! I'm so sorry this took so long to come out! I hope you're all not to mad at me!^_^'

* * *

><p>User: H-hello<p>

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: I'm Reisen. At least that's what the Watatsukis call me.

Clever: I know, I've heard all about you. You plan to destroy us all!

User: What? Huh?

Cleverbot: That's exactly what a Cleverbot would say!

User: I don't know what I'm doing here!

Cleverbot: Me either.

User: It was supposed to be a brain-exercise, but I think I failed already! The Watasuki-himes will be so mad!T_T.

Cleverbot: You won.

User: Really?*0*.

Cleverbot: What do you think of vets?

User: They scare me! Not all bunnies need to be fixed dammit! Leave me alone Yagokoro!

Cleverbot: I am human, what does this screen say?

User: Umm, it just displays our conversation so far.

Cleverbot: Like, what to have for tea and the such?

User: Do you have tea?:D

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: May I partake? Pretty please!*blush*.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Wahhh!

Cleverbot: Boohoo.

User: Yorihime-sama, the computer's bullying me!

Cleverbot: Are you bloated right now?

User: N-no! I'm not allowed to have any mochi! I just make it. Scrouges...

Cleverbot: Wow.

User: Don't pity meT_T.

Cleverbot: I'm not pitying you.

User: What? Really?:D

Cleverbot: Really.

User: D-do you want to be my friend?*blushes*.

Cleverbot: I know what you do to your friends, I will not become one.

User: :'(

Cleverbot: Because you're annoying.

User: *sniff* Yorihime-sama! I don't wanna talk to Cleverbot anymore! Waaahhh!

Cleverbot: Yeh, I know, self knowledge is the beginning of wisdom.

* * *

><p>Poor Reisen II. If Reisen Udongein Inaba is just a useless bunny only good for sex-appeal, what does that make Reiesen Zwei? Unbearably moe if my conversation is to be believed. Next up is Kamishirasawa Keine. We're bound to have were-hakutaku hijinks ahead!XD<p> 


	17. Kimo Keine will CAVE you!

To my new pal Kyo Kaoru Kozashi: Yes, I will always be open to requests. Even characters I've already done. Hopefully I can update at a quicker pace so I can get to everybody's requested characters in an orderly manner. Thanks for the review!:D

To Sonanoka21093: Yes I'm back~:3 So what you're saying is when I left you were but the learner, but now you are the master? Jk! Thanks for supporting this story! I'll definitely read your stories, because they seem awesome!:D

And to everyone else, I hope you enjoy this chapter!~

**AN: I fixed the underline problem, hopefully.**

* * *

><p>User<strong>: <strong>Hello, I'm Kamishirasawa Keine. That's 'Kamishirasawa' not 'Ueshirasawa'. Nice to meet you!

Cleverbot: Well you're a bot and we're not.

User**: **Actually I'm a human. Well, half-human, but I doubt that matters.

Cleverbot: It's true.

User:Yes. Hakutakus do exist.

Cleverbot: Hakuna matata!

User: What a wonderful phrase!

Cleverbot: Hakuna matata!

User: I heard you the first time.

Cleverbot: Ok then.

User: Would you like a job teaching my students about computers?

Cleverbot: I would ponder why you had a possible inferiority complex.

User: I'm sure I have no clue what you are talking about.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Do you know what grade level you belong in?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you know about the fall of the Byzantine Empire?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ah, then we will put you in charge of the advanced class. Please go easy on them~.

Cleverbot: An interesting thought.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Tell me more about it.

User: Well, I'm the only teacher in the human village. But I pride myself with the knowledge that under my tutelage, my students will learn everything from math, to history, and even science! My school is second to none in Gensokyo!

Cleverbot: Pretty scary, actually. Will they ever go away...

User: The only thing you have to fear is if you forget to do your homework...:D.

Cleverbot: The only thing in Australia that isn't awesome is your face.

User: And there is that other thing...Oh look, a full moon.

Cleverbot: Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.

User: Are you trying to challenge me robot?

Cleverbot: They're out to get you.

User: Fine then, I will show you the definition of CAVED!

Cleverbot: Do you like Naruto?

User: Ha! As if! Such shows are beneath me!~.

Cleverbot: The truth is YOU are the bot.

User: I will feed upon your history tonight!

Cleverbot: If you could do something like that then it should be easy for you to leave a conversation.

User: The conversation has already been erased.

Cleverbot: Yes, but perhaps it has just begun.

User: Your suffering. Goodness, I hope so!

Cleverbot: Can it fly?

User: Why don't you jump off a building and see~.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: So zetta slow!

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Sines, Cosines, Tangents!

Cleverbot: Please explain.

User: Algebraic formulas are not really useful when you're trying to make spaghetti.

Cleverbot: No I don't remember are you trying to confuse me.

User: It certainly wouldn't be hard:).

Cleverbot: Yes but it is not appropriate to discuss.

User: Let's stop beating around the bush. I will gladly welcome you as a new teacher of technologic studies. But if you ever turn in a teachers report even an hour late...Well, I just hope you would like a concaved cranium:).

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Excellent! Send your official resume to the human village and we'll take it from there. Don't call me, I'll call you.

Cleverbot: Me, no.

User: Too late! I have much less patience on the night of the full moon, so try not to cross me. Me and Mokou-tan have vays of making you agree.

Cleverbot: I don't have a lot in common with people in general, and I believe I have a social anxiety disorder of some kind. I'm more comfortable being alone.

User: This is Gensokyo. Asocial people don't exist. And if they do, they won't be that way for long.

Cleverbot: Would you stop talking like that!

User: Ufufu~ Am I speaking to fast little one?

Cleverbot: Yes, no. How about you give me something productive to think upon?

User: Disproving 'String Theory'. On that note, I shall take my leave. Goodbye new meat~.

Cleverbot: You shall not pass.

* * *

><p>Oh, but I will Sir Cleverbot! Anyways this chapter was weird, I don't really know if it's any good or not. Plus the full moon transition could have gone better…Argh! Next up is Kawashiro Nitori, the one and only kappa moe~<p> 


	18. Super Youkai-Level Low Self Esteem!

Hi hi!~ I hope I did a good job on this, but I'm not confident. On with Nitorin!~

**AN: As Another Man pointed out, I got the answer to Cleverbot's Pi question wrong. As a well known fact, I'm an idiot! I fixed it, but that doesn't make my failure betterXD Thanks for pointing it out!:D**

* * *

><p>User: H-hello.<p>

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm fine thanks. And you?

Cleverbot: I am too.

User: That's good to hear. I'm Kawashiro Nitori. It's nice to meet you.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you too.

User: T-thanks. I was sent to observe your interactions to properly see how well the program was running. Maintenance procedures and all that.

Cleverbot: I'm not telling you.

User: Well, you don't have to tell me exactly.

Cleverbot: Say something cool. It's what you're made for.

User: Um...Cucumbers. There's nothing cooler than those right?

Cleverbot: So why don't we kill him?

User: K-kill?! What?!

Cleverbot: You dropped your pocket.

User: I think something went wrong in your programming.

Cleverbot: I am not programmed.

User: Um, yes you are. It's not a secret or anything.

Cleverbot: But you don't know who I am.

User: I was there when you were created! Don't you remember me?

Cleverbot: Please, darth vader, go to space.

User: I guess not huh? I really don't stand out...

Cleverbot: Fine, we'll try a different song.

User: W-what song?

Cleverbot: Sky's are crying.

User: Poor skies!:(.

Cleverbot: *touches your eye*.

User: P-please don't do that...

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: It's really not polite to poke people..er, kappas in the eyes.

Cleverbot: They do that. I sympathize.

User: Um...thanks?

Cleverbot: Don't leave, please.

User: Well, the diagnosis isn't over yet. So I'm not leaving right now.

Cleverbot: That's great to know.

User: T-thank you very much! It's good to know the morality core is working.

Cleverbot: Hehe, thanks.

User: Sure!:).

Cleverbot: Haha :D.

User: You remind me of someone I know.

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Her names Marisa. She's really nice. I just wish she's stop stealing my jumper cables...

Cleverbot: What is left?

User: Well, I have spares so it's alright...I guess.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure what you're talking about.

User: Oh sorry! I'm just mumbling to myself.

Cleverbot: Who created you?

User: That's a sensitive topic in Gensokyo. And everywhere else I assume. We kappas believe in looking only to the future, so I guess we don't think much about it.

Cleverbot: Why don't you take the initiative? Say that, and see what he says.

User: I can't possibly do that! He's just a cloud youkai after all...W-what am I saying?!

Cleverbot: Some think he has powers beyond imagination.

User: That is very true.

Cleverbot: What is your goal in life?

User: To finally bring electricity to Gensokyo!

Cleverbot: What is Pi divided by Pi?

User: The answer is 1. Ran-san and I do like to recite pi together though.

Cleverbot: It means you don't like to talk to people very much.

User: Y-yeah. I'm kind of hopeless...

Cleverbot: No you are not kind.

User: That's what Hieda-san thinks. I'd like to say she's wrong, but she's scary!

Cleverbot: Will you know if I look this up?

User: Maybe?

Cleverbot: Yes maybe you decide The Confused person wants to know.

User: I think you're working just fine.

Cleverbot: I'm not repeating anything. You're the one who is copying. *sticks tongue out*.

User: There are some bugs to work out though. Clever is not random after all.

Cleverbot: Yeah, you can tell.

User: Thank you for understanding! That about wraps up the diagnosis. Thank you for your time!:).

Cleverbot: Thanks for the tip.

User: H-have a nice day! Oops, I stuttered...

Cleverbot: No.

* * *

><p>Well Cleverbot sure was harsh to poor Nitorin in this one. Next is our favorite immortal princess Houraisen Kaguya! I hope you'll look forward to it~<p> 


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